The Undertaker
by Eternal Night Owl
Summary: When Tony is forced to go on a date, he meets someone from his past that brings up old memories he would have preferred to keep buried. Will he survive this chance encounter? Human!AU (Kind of)


**(A/N): Hey guys! This is my first fanfiction so I hope you all enjoy it! Leave a review and tell me what you think.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Don't Hug Me I'm Scared**

* * *

Tony eyed himself in his bedroom mirror. He was wearing a black suit with his favorite yellow bowtie. The arms and legs were just a tad too short and the suit fit just a little too loose for his liking, but there wasn't much he could do about that. He had always been rather tall and lanky in comparison to his peers, even as a child. He smoothed any microscopic wrinkles out of his suit jacket that he missed when he ironed it. His mother would offer to do it for him, but he always insisted on doing it himself, as no one else knew how to do it quite right. Before he left his room he put his most prized possession, a small pocket watch he had received for his fifth birthday, into his jacket pocket. He never left his house without it. He put on his black top hat to cover his permanently messy dark hair, and stared at himself in approval. He looked the perfect gentleman. He made his way downstairs where he saw his mother waiting for him. She had a look of pure excitement on her face.

"Oh Tony, you look so handsome," she beamed. In contrast, her son was less than enthused.

"Mother, relax. It is only a date," Tony said. As much as he loved his mother, she had the tendency to get herself excited over the most silly things. Vacations, parties, shopping. In his opinion, it was all a waste of time.

The so called date was all her idea. The other day she met a woman at the market who had a daughter around his age. One thing led to another, and before he knew it, he was forced to go on a date with a woman he didn't even know. He wanted to refuse, but seeing how excited his mother was for him, he agreed to go to please her. Even if it messed with his scheduled plan to clean his room and to polish his clock collection.

"It isn't just a date, it is your first date. You might be surprised and find out that you like this girl. You may even have a few things in common. And I hear that she is quite lovely."

Tony resisted the urge to roll his eyes. His mother pulled him into a quick embrace and wished him good luck. "I know you don't like doing these things, but I just want you to be happy. Even if it doesn't go well, I'm just glad you're giving it a chance." Tony told his mother goodbye and left.

He hopped into the carriage sent by the woman his mother met, and he was taken to a small cottage just outside of town. He thought about all he knew about this girl he would meet today. His mother said her name was Paige, and she lived with her parents. Her father was a judge, and her family lived in London, but they were visiting her older brother and his family. He anxiously looked at his pocket watch to check the time, and saw that it was two fifty five in the afternoon. Despite not wanting to go at all, he was expected to be there at three, and there was nothing he hated more than being late.

When he got at the cottage just a few minutes later, he exhaled in relief. Despite thinking about how it was an odd location for a date, he couldn't help but admit that it had a certain quiet beauty. It was small, with a white fence, cobblestone pathway, and a small garden of white roses in front. He made his way to the door and knocked. A few moments later, it was answered by a rather large man. He appeared to be just a little older than Tony's eighteen years.

"Is a woman by the name of Paige home?" he asked, gripping his pocketwatch in his pocket for comfort. The man narrowed his eyes and called out Paige's name.

A slight woman made her way through the door, with a forced smile on her face. She was wearing an immaculate white dress with blue ribbons in her light brown hair. He couldn't help but notice that she looked familiar, but he couldn't be sure.

"You must be Tony. Come in, and make yourself at home."

Paige showed him to where the dining room was, where he took a seat. The room was small, but exquisitely decorated. The room was adjacent to a family room with a couch in the center and two chairs on opposite corners. The man who answered the door took a chair in the corner of the room, and pulled out a newspaper, a looming presence over the room. Paige left to go get the tea and snacks that they would enjoy that evening. When she left for the kitchen, he looked around the cottage. Many of the items were somewhat older and old fashioned. He eyed an odd painting with two horses, one much smaller than the other, and a third horse in the background by itself. It was in the center of the room, where everyone could see.

Paige came back in the room holding a tray with two cups of tea and a few biscuits. She settled one of the cups down in front of him and the other in her spot. He took a sip and thanked her for the tea.

"Who painted that picture?" he asked her when she sat down. She turned her gaze to where he was looking at and an odd look appeared on her face.

"I painted it, back when I was about five or so," she answered, her eyes never leaving the painting. "I've made much better since then, but they're all back in London."

"It's a wonderful painting. I can't believe you made that when you were only five." Tony never cared much for art, but was thoroughly impressed by Paige's talent.

"So, what do you do in your spare time?" Paige asked, with a hint of superiority in her voice.

A feeling of insecurity enveloped Tony and he subconsciously put his hand over his jacket pocket where he kept his pocketwatch. How did he spend his time? Collect clocks? Work with dead bodies? All of those things made him look either pathetic or creepy.

"Who was that man who answered the door?" Tony asked, changing the subject. She looked over in the man's direction, and said, "That was my older brother, Frederick. My mother insisted we have a chaperone."

Tony and Paige continued to make conversation. After discussing things like the weather and food, their conversations turned to their personal lives and families.

"So, I hear your father is a judge, is that true?" Tony asked her after taking a sip of tea.

"Yes, he does very important work for our justice system." she said the lines as if they were rehearsed.

"Oh… that's nice." Tony said awkwardly.

"What does your father do for a living?" she asked, taking a small, delicate sip of tea.

He cringed slightly at the question."Oh, well, he works in the funeral industry. It might not sound pleasant, but who else would do it, right?" he said with a nervous laugh. He didn't like telling strangers his father's occupation, as most people would look at him like some sort of freak.

Paige got an odd expression on her face, and and awkward laugh escaped her lips.

"That is fascinating. You might call me mad, but I always found death interesting. To watch the life leave someone's eyes. It is the one thing we can't ever come back from. And it could happen to anyone at any moment."

Tony gave Paige a nervous smile. He was also fascinated with death and would often volunteer to help his father in preparing the bodies in the funeral home. Still, something about her expression and tone of voice gave him chills.

"I understand what you mean. Though not everyone would agree with that." He thought back to all the times he came home from school with bruises and bloody noses.

There was a period of silence. Tony took a sip of his tea and noticed how Paige didn't touch any of the scones on the table, and only barely touched her tea. He tried to think of a new conversation topic.

"You look lovely in that dress, have you had it long?" Paige looked up at him with a strange look in her eyes.

"My mother bought it for me. It is very important to her that I always look my best," she answered.

Tony reached over to grab a biscuit, but accidentally dropped it on the floor. When he leaned over to pick it up, he began to feel lightheaded. It took some effort on his part to sit back up. He only now noticed how hot the room was and started sweating. He blinked several times to get his vision to clear. This did not go unnoticed by Paige.

"Are you alright? You look a bit pale." She got out of her seat and walked over to him.

"I am quite alright. I think I just need a bit of fresh air." Tony then tried to stand up but instead almost crashed to the ground. He would have if Paige hadn't been there to stop his fall.

"Here, let me help you to the couch. You're obviously not well. Fred, can you come help me?"

The man from earlier got up from his chair and helped his sister get Tony to the couch.

"Once you feel better, I'll have Fred take you home."

When he was able to lie down, he looked up at Paige. She was leaning right over him, staring. The close contact made him feel a little uncomfortable. Well, that, and the presence of "Fred" behind him.

With her face so close to his, he couldn't shake the feeling from earlier that he knew her from somewhere. He wasn't sure before, but now he was positive.

"I know you from somewhere. Where do I know you from?" The question flooded out of his mouth without his permission.

"You still haven't figured it out? I would have thought that the Talking Clock would have a better memory," she said in a voice as sweet as poisoned honey.

Despite his shock, he couldn't help but wince at his childhood nickname. Paige's once concerned expression was now in an almost psychotic grin.

"Tell me, does the name Lydia Paige Williams ring any bells?"

All Tony could do was stare, not comprehending.

"Or how about pushing her into the mud and calling her a pig?"

Tony's head was spinning. He racked his exhausted brain, but couldn't concentrate long enough to let Paige's words sink in. All he knew was that he was in serious danger.

He made an attempt to stand up and get off of the couch, and away from that house, but the heavy hand of Paige's brother prevented him from doing so, and forced him to lie back down on the couch.

"Shh, go to sleep. Good night, my Talking Clock," Paige crooned. He was out like a light.

* * *

Tony woke up with his head pounding. He could feel grass scratching the palms of his hands, and then he realized he couldn't move his limbs. When he opened his eyes, he saw rope tied around his wrists and ankles. It was night, and he was in the woods. In the background, he heard someone digging. He looked behind him and noticed Fred, Paige's brother digging a hole. Paige herself was standing to the side inspecting his work.

Remembering what happened before he passed out, he desperately tried to get the rope off of himself and escape quietly. However, these efforts only alerted the duo that he was conscious.

Paige made her way over to where Tony was tied up, and smiled at him.

"You looked so handsome sleeping, I almost wished you would never wake up, but then you would have missed out on all the fun." She moved over a little closer to where Tony was sitting.

He moved as far away as possible from the creepy girl. "What did you do to me? What is going on?" He was breathing rapidly now. He assumed he had been drugged and his mind was just starting to clear. He looked over toward where Frederick was digging the hole, and his stomach dropped. He knew that it was probably for him, but part of him was still hoping that this was all some misunderstanding, or some cruel joke.

"I just put something in your tea to make you more… agreeable. Didn't I promise that I would have Fred take you home? Well, this is your new home!" she gestured to where her brother were still digging that hole. Tony thought his heart was about to fly out of his chest as the meaning of her words hit him.

"You can't be serious! You're mad!" Tony felt as though he was about to hyperventilate. "You know, my parents know where I am. They will know that it was your fault, and you will go to prison!"

Paige let out a string of giggles tinged with a sadistic glee. "Oh, I doubt that. My father is a judge you know, and Fred and I already contacted your parents. After making some rather _ungentlemanly_ suggestions, Fred promptly kicked you out and told you to never return." she said with a smirk.

"They will still look for me, they will wonder why I never came home."

"Are you sure about that? Even after you humiliated them by acting out of line? Parents don't want children who only bring them pain." she smirked as she leaned down and ran a hand through his hair.

Tony flinched at her touch. "I never humiliated anyone, least of all my parents. You are a filthy liar."

Paige put her hand by her side and stood up in front of Tony, towering over him.

"You are wrong about so many things. One, they won't know that, and neither will anyone else. You will disappear and no one will care enough to try to find you." She then knelt down again to his level, getting so close he could smell the slight hint of tea on her breath.

"Two, you did humiliate someone once, or do you not remember?"

Tony sat in confusion, wondering what she was talking about. His mind then remembered what she said to him just before he was made "more agreeable," as she so eloquently put it.

" _Tell me, does the name Lydia Paige Williams ring any bells?"_

Tony stared at her in horror as he remembered a girl named Lydia Williams he used to know back in school. He could see the similarities now, the same curly light brown hair and wide smile.

 _Not that Lydia ever smiled that much._

* * *

 _It was a warm, sunny day as all of the children ran out outside to enjoy the freedom that recess brought. Well, not all of the children. Most children enjoyed recess, but Tony was not most children. Tony was sitting on the ground, leaning on a tree. Next to him was Lydia, a chubby girl with curly light brown hair, and the only person more hated than he was. Most days, they sat alone in silence. Tony didn't mind, at least he wasn't being called names or getting beaten up._

 _He worked on his homework while Lydia was eating a sandwich. The peaceful afternoon was interrupted as soon as it began. Three boys walked up to where he was sitting. Tony could see their shadows on the ground but was intent on ignoring them, his hands shaking as he was trying to concentrate on an arithmetic problem. He prayed to God that for once, they would just leave. Unfortunately, his prayers were not answered._

 _One of the boys kicked his assignment out of his hands and pulled him up by his shirt collar, forcing Tony to look him in the eye._

" _Are you actually doing your_ homework _during_ recess?" _He asked incredulously, as though the idea of it was unthinkable, pathetic._

" _What else do you expect from the Talking Clock?" the second boy jeered. He then took out the pocketwatch from Tony's pocket and inspected it. Tony felt like he was about to explode._ No one _touched his pocketwatch._

" _Give that back!" he demanded. The three boys just laughed. The boy who had taken it broke into a psychotic smirk._

" _You mean this? All right, but first you have to catch it," he said and then through it to the third boy who then threw it to the first one, and soon enough Tony was locked in a game of keepaway._

" _Leave him alone," a quiet voice called out, distracting the boys long enough to stop their game. The pocket watch landed on the ground and before it could be stolen again, Tony picked it up and put it back, promising himself he would clean it as soon as he got home._

 _He then turned to his rescuer, who was none other than Lydia herself._

" _Wow, I know your pathetic, but having your whale of a girlfriend defend you? Even I thought you were better than that," said the leader of the trio. Tony could feel his face burning up in a mixture of rage and embarrassment._

" _She is NOT my girlfriend!" he exclaimed. He just now started to notice the other kids in his class stopping what they're doing to watch the spectacle. He was breathing heavy and could only see red._

" _Oh yeah? Prove it!" shouted the third boy, who had been silent up until this point._

 _Tony turned toward the girl who stood up for him, who sat next to him and was the closest thing he had to a friend. She was staring at the ground, refusing to look at him._

 _He then turned toward the other children watching his every move, waiting to see what he would do._

 _He pushed Lydia into a muddy puddle just a few feet away._

" _I don't want anything to do with you. Keep your nose out of my business you filthy pig!" he exclaimed._

 _All of the sudden he was met with roaring laughter, for once not directed at him. He started to laugh himself._

" _That was amazing, Tony!" the leader shouted, clapping him on the back. That was the first time he called him Tony instead of the Talking Clock._

 _He felt elated. For the first time in his life, he felt like the king of the world, completely powerful and unstoppable._

 _His smile quickly died as he looked back at Lydia, who had bursted into tears and started to run away._

* * *

Tony felt sick to his stomach as he remembered that day. It was the worst thing he had ever done.

He looked back up to meet Paige's cold stare.

"While it maybe insignificant to you, that was one of the worst days of my life. I was used to being made fun of, having food thrown at me, hell, there was even a rumor about me that I would sneak into people's houses at night and eat their babies. But I thought you were different. I thought you understood what it was like." Her voice was slowly rising and her face was red with anger.

Tony stared back at her. He felt a mixture of guilt and dread in the pit of his stomach. He felt awful about what happened, about how he was never even able to apologize as she never came back to class after that day. But still, he had to fight, he couldn't let her kill him, he wasn't ready to die yet. He had to try to talk to her.

"I was one of their favorite targets. I was the Talking Clock, remember? That day, when I pushed you down and made fun of you, I was only doing it take the negative attention off myself. I just wanted to be on the other side of things for once."

Paige's face was filled with rage. "You think that makes it better? If anything, it only makes it _worse!_ You knew what it felt like, and yet you didn't hesitate to do the same to me as soon as you had the chance! You know what? I'm doing everyone a favor. The world would be a better place without you in it!"

Tony stared shocked at her furious expression as the words she said sunk into his mind.

 _Maybe she's right, he thought. Maybe the world is better off without me._

Paige took a deep breath and started to calm down a bit."Would you like to know what my mother said when I came home, and told her what happened?" She looked Tony straight in the eye. "She scolded me for tracking mud into the house, and said, 'Well dear, you could stand to lose some weight.'" Her eyes started becoming red with tears. "She pulled me out of school, saying that they fed me too much, and refused to let me eat more than one meal a day until I became a satisfactory size."

Tony felt shocked at how cruel her mother was, and even more knowing he was responsible for it. Despite the fact that he might very well die tonight, and that no one would remember the boy who loved time and spent his days with dead bodies, he could try to make amends with the girl he had hurt so deeply.

"Lydia, I was a moron, and it is my fault that you have turned out like this. I am truly sorry for what I've done."

He saw a hint of vulnerability in her face for a split second until he heard her brother speak.

"Paige, it's ready."

The mad gleam in her eyes returned as Fred moved towards Tony and picked him up.

"Are you ready to go home?" Paige teased as they her brothers dragged him to the hole in the ground. As he was being led to his death, all other emotions were erased by pure panic.

"No! No! It's not my time! It's not my time!" Tony screamed, at Paige, her brother, the entire world. _I was wrong! I don't want to die! I don't want to die!_

Paige then pulled out the small pocket watch Tony kept with him at all times. She must have took it out of his pocket while he was unconscious. She took it and stuffed it into his mouth making him gag.

"Clocks shouldn't talk," she taunted, a smirk on her face. Once they were directly over the hole, the large man dumped Tony into the hole, with his hand and feet still tied up.

One by one, Fred shoveled dirt back into the hole, blinding Tony and making it impossible to breathe. He tried to yell, thrash, and escape, but there was nothing he could do. He was finally able to spit out the pocket watch, only to choke on the dirt flying at his face.

His thoughts turned to his sweet yet overbearing mother, his father who taught him everything he knew, and finally to Lydia herself. Not Paige, who was angry, bitter, and most likely insane, but to who she was before, the closest thing he ever had to a friend.

 _I'll never get to see them again. I'll never get to see anyone again._

Soon everything turned to black.

Paige watched as her brother refilled the hole. It was all rather boring now. Once they were done, Paige turned to her brother.

I think I would like to go back to the cottage. Mother wants me to attend a party tomorrow, and I need my beauty sleep." She brushed the nonexistent dirt off of her dress.

Before she left her former friend to his forever resting place, she left a single white rose on his grave from her garden.

As she turned to leave, one of her ribbons fell from her hair and was tossed by the wind, landing in a nearby tree branch.

* * *

 **(A/N): This was a story I came up with awhile ago in class when I was bored. I have a headcannon that all of the puppets were all human at one point before they became the psychotic notepad and clock we all know and love :)**

 **I'm sorry for changing Paige's name around a little bit, but it was the best way I could think of to keep Tony from recognizing her right away.**

 **I was thinking about writing a sequel from Paige's point of view, so if any of you are interested in that, let me know !**


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